


The Secret Diary of Hades The Awesome*

by flappiedungeon (orphan_account)



Category: Hercules (1997), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, abuse of italics involved shhhhhhh, basic knowledge of the movie would make this easier to understand, do not let that discourage you, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-15
Updated: 2013-11-15
Packaged: 2018-01-01 15:44:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/flappiedungeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Hades The Magnificent (?); to be revised at a later time.</p><p>In which Hades keeps a diary, and Hercules (John Watson) serves as the bane of his existence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Secret Diary of Hades The Awesome*

Title: The Secret Diary of Hades The Awesome*

*Hades The Magnificent (?); to be revised at a later time.

* * *

 

Entry 01:

First day as King of Underworld. Fan- _flippin_ -tastic.

I hate everyone.

 

Entry 104:

Woohoo! Party for Zeus' newborn baby boy. Heffalump? Hercudump? Who cares what the rotten child's name is?

Edit: It's Hercules. _Hercules_? Completely stupid. Anywho, I'm not invited to the party. _Sweet_.

I _love_ crashing parties.

Entry 104.2:

Heccadump is _strong_. That little thing hurt my finger.

And he's already interfering with my ‘Plan Take Over The World And Wipe The Stupid Smug Smirk Off Zeus’ Dumb Face’.

How?

By being _born_ , that’s how. What a brat.

Gotta find a way to rid myself of this nuisance.

 

Entry 112:

Pain and Panic assigned to feed Zeus Jr. with mortality potion so that he can be disposed of. I'm a _genius_. Wasting away in the bloody Underworld.

Not for long, losers.

 

Entry 113:

Baby Herc done and dealt with! Honestly, I didn't think those two idiots (re: Pain and Panic) could have handled it; but it's nice to be surprised.

Now, just gotta wait for the alignment of Cosmos to happen, release the Titans, yada yada yada, and oh, the promise of revenge is simply _glorious_.

 

Entry 1100:

Humans are so stupid. Like this teenage fool who came to me today. Well, I say fool, but he's quite smart for human, I guess. Just clouded by _sentiment_ and _feelings_. Wanting me to save _Mummy_ in exchange for his soul and whatnot.

Pathetic, really.

Eh, got his soul anyway and ' _cured_ ' her. How tragic it was when she died in an accident not long after.

So yeah. Kid's quite gullible. But he's got potential.

Caring is never an advantage, Sherlock Holmes. Lucky for you, I'm here to teach you that, _and_ I’m going to make you _brilliant_.

 

Entry 2222:

Sherlock Holmes is an _absolute_ pain. Rude, unfeeling (yay, me), and crazy. His only saving grace is that he’s good at what he does. Y’know, looking for capable creatures to help me with taking over the world; knowing things about people without having to torture them,  and such. Boring, really.

I’d _really_ like to throw him into the River Styx and see how he likes being an arrogant tosser while swimming around with the souls of dead people.

 

Entry 2230:

Sending Holmes to recruit a centaur. Should be fine.

Entry 2230.2:

I AM GOIN-

Entry 2230.3:

FLIPPIN’ PAIN AND PANIC THOSE ID--

Entry 2230.4:

Hercules, the bane of my existence and ruiner of all my detailed, flawless plans. Is. Still. Alive.

Hercules, now known as _John Watson_ , is still alive and kicking.

Entry 2230.5:

I would kill someone; but the Underworld is a dark, gloomy place, a place already filled by a ridiculous amount dead people.

Damn.

 

Entry 2235:

Fine. _Fine_. I’ll deal with Wonder Boy and then I’ll proceed as planned. It’s all fine.

 

Entry 2236:

Gonna send Hydra to kill Hercules. Piece of cake.

 

Entry 2237:

I no longer have a Hydra.

 

Entry 2238:

I am not worried about this John Watson or Hercules or whatever ruining my plan. I’m not. I’m Hades, God of the Dead.

Pfft, _worried_.

Entry 2238.2:

Still not worried. Just… slightly _concerned_.

No big deal.

 

Entry 2240:

Johnny Boy slayed all my creatures and monsters.

I _hate_ him. I want to push him off a cliff and _laugh_ while he dies.

 

Entry 2241:

Holmes has been entirely useless this whole time. Going to make him use his deducing skills to work out Hercules’ weakness.

There’s got to be _something_.

 

Entry 2245:

Sherlock Holmes chose John Watson over me.

I see he’s forgotten his lesson about _sentiment_ and _caring_ for others.

He’s forgotten that I _own_ him.

 

Entry 2246:

It seems that John Watson has chosen Sherlock Holmes as well, out of all the people in Thebes.

 _Fascinating_.

Entry 2246.2:

Sherlock Holmes _is_ our darling Hercules’ weakness.

Oh my.

 

Entry 2250:

Just had the time of my life making a deal with the now-powerless Hercules. Also, the betrayal in his eyes when I revealed that his new best friend was working for _me_ all along?

BEST. MOMENT. EVER.

Of course, taking over Olympus will probably top that moment. For now though, BEST MOMENT EVER.

What a time to be alive.

 

Entry 2251:

Dear Diary,

Olympus is now mine.

I’d elaborate, but I think I might cry from happiness.

 _Love_ ,

Hades Of Olympus And Underworld, Also God Of The Dead

 

Entry 2252:

HOW THE BLOODY HELL--

 

Entry 2253:

I don’t want to talk about it.

Entry 2253.2:

Not. Talking. About. It.

 

Entry 2254:

Just got out from the River Styx. Y’know, the one Heccadump pushed me into, six freakin’ months ago. Dead souls are not pleasant to be around, especially if they have a vendetta against you.

Going to hunt for Pain and Panic now, and disembowel them or something. Might make me feel better.

Laterz.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, I wanted to write more, like the details of how Sherlock and John met, the fight with Hydra, the betrayal, etc; but it will only amuse myself and I'm unsure if anyone else would like to read more.
> 
> Feedback would be lovely, and if you really read that, wow. _Thank you_. Here, have this cookie as a sign of my gratitude.


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